Advice can feel like criticism, and it can make the recipient feel patronized. [2] X Research source Unwanted advice might communicate that the advice-giver believes they know more than the person they’re offering advice to. If it’s a repeated habit, unsolicited advice could seriously harm a relationship. One friend might end up feeling more than just disrespected—they could feel unheard and misunderstood, too.
Helping: Some people just want their friends to get better, do better, or feel better—so they can’t help but to try and offer them guidance. At the end of the day, these people mean well. Anxiety and control: Again, many people give unsolicited advice out of love. They may hate watching their friends struggle, and because of that, they feel powerless or anxious about it. So offering advice helps them feel like at least they’re doing something. Over-confidence: Some people might just feel like they know best. If they feel certain that their opinion is correct, it can be hard not to share it with people who could benefit from it.
“Oh wow. That’s wild! Keep going. ” “No way, I didn’t know that. What happened next?”
“So what’s the best outcome for you in this situation?” “Are you more invested in getting what you want now or later?” “Oh, that sounds like a great way to handle things. How will you go about that?”
“Wow, I think I’d find that so tough. What have you been feeling?” “It sounds like you might be a little angry—do I have that right?" “If you’re feeling a little sad about this, I think that that’s totally understandable. I’d be the same way. ”
“Hey, this sounds like a lot to deal with. How can I help?” “I want to make sure I’m giving you exactly what you need. Are you looking more for advice or to vent? I can do either one!” “I could lend you my perspective if you want that, but I can also just listen. I just want to make sure this conversation is helpful for you. ”
“Hmmm. Yeah, I see what you mean. I was actually thinking about doing this instead…” “Right, I get what you’re saying. I’ll consider that. Anyway, have you heard about…”
“You know what I actually would love right now? Just for you to listen. I don’t think I’m thinking about what to do yet. ” “It would make my day if I could just get all of this off my chest right now. Could we not go into advice or how to proceed just yet?”
“Hmmm. Thanks for your input, but it doesn’t sound like something I would do. It doesn’t really align with my values. ” “I see what you’re going for, but it doesn’t sound like that would actually help me get what I want in this situation. ”
“This is about my kid, and it’s a super delicate issue. I actually don’t want any advice on this in the future. ” “Going forward, I really don’t want advice unless I ask for it. I feel belittled when I receive advice I didn’t ask for. ” “I’ve asked you a few times not to give advice unless I ask for it. I’m setting a boundary here, can you try to respect that?”
